I have spent the last 3 weeks working for a Wilderness Therapy Program in Northern Minnesota. Because I am not allowed to take identifiable pictures of the students, my photos have been carefully selected and filtered. I took over 300 photos during the 3 weeks, but am only sharing 50. The only faces you will see are mine and those of my co-instructors, Frank and Danyelle.
10/15/11
I am back in it. The bicycle trip now
feels like it is what I am supposed to be doing with my life, and
this other stuff, this “work” stuff, is just a distraction. When
every day is a discovery, a new horizon, a thousand unknown
possibilities and unseen images from a world never before
experienced, how do you leave that behind? How do you go back to
what you were doing before? In my case, I had a good job with great
people in interesting places, which would sound good to most people,
I realize. But this journey is changing me. I no longer want a good
job in an interesting place. I want the world to be different. I
want everyone to enjoy what
they are doing and where they are. I want to learn more and do more
and see more and experience it all first-hand. In order to truly
make my life as good as I know it can be, I need to help everyone
else have a good life too. How can I be happy when others are
suffering, starving, oppressed, living in fear and devastating
poverty? How can I sit back and enjoy my cozy little lifestyle when
I know that I have the capability to do so much more?
There is very little from a sedentary
lifestyle that I find myself in desire of. I miss my family. I miss
many of my friends and co-workers, but also know that many of them
are not tied to any one place, and certainly not all to the places
that I've been calling “home” over the last several years. My
community is the world.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have
been in the woods with 2 co-instructors and a group of 8 teenage boys
in the Minnesota Corrections system. 5 of the boys were locked up for
drug and alcohol related offenses, and 3 for other criminal acts.
They come from various cities and counties of Minnesota, and share a
few things in common. Most of them have had poor guidance, lack of
guidance, or simply horrible guidance from their parents as to how to
go about living in this world. Stories of physical and sexual abuse,
drug use and law-breaking practices from a young age seem commonplace
for these kids. A few of them simply don't know any other way to
operate. One struggled particularly hard on an assignment to write
about a positive role model that they knew personally, because he
couldn't think of one. I felt needed by these kids. They have a
hard time trusting anyone, but when I was speaking from the heart,
they listened and thanked me for it. Most of them wear a shell of
anger and defensiveness that goes up quickly at the first sign of
disrespect. But at some point, all of them shared openly and
honestly about their lives, their desires for the future, their
knowledge of the need to change and find something better. I did my
best to be a good listener and offer compassionate advice.
It seems strange to me to find myself
in a place of work again after not working for a full 2.5 months. My
bike trip was certainly not like any vacation that I've had before.
It was plain hard work at times, but always with the most satisfying
reward at the end of the day: a feeling of accomplishment. I have
been thinking a lot lately about money, my relationship to it, and
its effects on the world. Most of the time, I don't give it much
thought at all, because I live a very inexpensive lifestyle, don't
invest much, and have a chunk of cash sitting in an account that I've
never let get too low. My only fixed expenses for the last several
months have been a cell phone bill and my personal health insurance,
both of which charge to my credit card automatically. When I'm
working, I don't pay for food or lodging, and while on the bike, I
paid only for food.
I know that part of the money that I
have sitting in a bank account is being used as leverage for loans to
individuals and companies over which I have no control, and I'm not
sure that's OK with me. My checking account earns 0.5% interest,
which is much slower than the rate of inflation, so the buying power
of the money that sits there actually shrinks with each passing day.
The overwhelming flood of news stories about corruption in big banks
makes me want to put my money somewhere else entirely.
I have been thinking about trying to
live without money for a year. Removing myself from a system of
debt, labor and inequality which I would like to stop supporting. Is anyone interested in making a documentary about a guy trying to live
a year in the USA without money? Instead, I would simply trade my
labor and/or knowledge and skills directly for the resources that I
need to survive. Or I would broker deals between people, work for
one who then provided a service or good to another on my behalf. I
think this would start people thinking about whether or not money
actually does them any good. With the current state of the economy,
money seems to be just as much of a headache as it is a convenience.
If we had a form of currency which was not tied to a banking system
of loans, debt and profits, but was purely a means of exchanging
goods and services, things would be very different.
I think that after this bike trip, I
will finally be able to travel internationally on my own and be truly
successful socially. I can no longer let fear isolate me from the
conversations that I want to have, the people I want to hear, the
knowledge that I want to obtain from someone, somewhere. I want to
be more a part of the places that I go. Couchsurfing helps with this
in a big way. I really enjoy meeting open-minded people who value
the stories and opinions of others.
10/17/11
Yesterday, I got on the internet for
the first time in over 2 weeks. Through a phone call from a friend,
I learned that Steve Jobs died, and that a huge, worldwide protest
had started over the lack of action taken against the irresponsible
banks which are largely responsible for the current economic
recession. We had an economic stimulus package of $700 billion given
out mostly to large banks and corporations, and what are the results
of this? Why should these irresponsible and corrupt banks be saved,
only to turn around and continue giving huge bonuses to their top
executives, while the rest of the country suffers? Finally, I see
some frustration from other people. My own rants at corporate greed
and collusion with politicians seemed so lonely and off in outer
space until I learned that hundreds of thousands of people all over
the world are feeling the same way, and now doing something about it.
My immediate response to the “Occupy
Wall Street” news was excitement, affirmation and curiosity. Who
are the people who are protesting? How much conviction to they have
to make real change? America has not seen any real, large scale
protests for some time, but our situation is such that many people
now have nothing to lose. Young people in college are going deep
into debt to pay for their schooling, and unable to get jobs upon
graduation. Unemployment remains in the double digits, with no signs
of improvement. The volatile stock market, which is really only a
useful tool to those to dedicate all of their time and energy to its
mysterious workings, is still unpredictable at best, and unreliable
for most.
The America that I've grown up in
expected me to go to college, get a job, invest my money into stable,
continuously growing retirement accounts, get married, buy a house
and a car, raise a family and 45 years later, retire a wealthy man.
With my safely managed nest egg, I would take vacations at golf
resorts with day spas, tropical island resorts, and deserts irrigated
with water from far away places. The American Dream of the present,
as pushed by corporate advertising, is one of materialism and
disconnection. What used to be a land of opportunity, founded by
great adventurers and pioneers (who undoubtedly displaced and
massacred the millions of natives already living here, but I'm trying
to be romantic right now) has turned into a land of corruption,
confusion and escapism. What group of people in America is now truly
happy and healthy? Are the “1%” who are now being picked on
without hesitation, really living a healthy, satisfying life? Or are
they too busy making sure that no one is stealing, shifting,
downgrading, laundering or losing their money? Where is the happy
middle-ground?
The teenagers I am working with now
are generally obsessed with material goods. Upon meeting them for
the first time, I was in charge of helping them inventory their
clothing and personal belongings that would be placed in storage for
the duration of their wilderness experience. All of them not only
knew, but were proud of the brands and labels of their clothing,
taking special care to make sure that I noted which brands they were
wearing before shoving these items into a suitcase or a garbage bag,
and putting them in a basement for safekeeping. Many of them are
here at least partially because of robbery charges. As one kid put
it, “I'm not addicted to stealing, I'm addicted to the money that I
get from stealing.” They have been convinced, so early in life,
that the stuff they buy, that they desire for one reason or another,
is important enough to break the law. In the wilderness, they are
issued the same clothing as everyone else, which serves a functional
purpose, rather than aesthetic. I am wearing largely the same
clothing they are, which is all issued by the state of Minnesota, in
drab and earthy colors. I feel that this has an immediate, positive
impact on helping the students relate to their own identity
regardless of their clothing, and instead based upon their
personalities, actions and behaviors. It is disappointing to realize
that many of them will be caught back up in the desire to purchase
particular items simply because they feel these items add value to
their image amongst their peers. This phenomenon is a product which
is at least partially blamable on advertising, and an issue that I
remember as a kid causing serious distress when one kid was deemed
not to be wearing the socially appropriate brand or style of
clothing. It was a serious emotional trauma to be made fun of for
what you were wearing.
I have a good friend who is a clothing
designer, and struggles with her role in the fashion industry. Like
me, she sees clothing design as an art form, a method of individual
expression, which in modern times, in metropolitan areas especially,
can be seen on every street corner. Unique expression of identity,
feelings and desire, worn on the outside, for others to be inspired.
Unfortunately, the corporate agenda has turned the fashion industry
into just that, an industry. Fashion is something marketed by skinny
models on runways and in TV commercials, touted as being the
desirable physical forms, and therefore, if you wear the same
clothing, you will be more desirable. Because people have found a
way to make lots of money from the fashion industry, it is now very
difficult to be in the art of fashion without being swept away by the
industry. My friend is disappointed that many of the job
opportunities available to her involve much less creative freedom
than she would like, and much more pleasing a corporate boss in order
to make money. Sadly, I think many forms of art and design have
headed in the same direction. It is very difficult for an individual
artist to compete in a market so saturated with hyper-marketed
products that have corporate advertising dollars behind them.
